Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Does She Remember?

I debated about whether to post this here on the public blog or the private one, or to post about it at all. Then I thought of how many times I have been asked by friends, family, and total strangers "Does she remember being in China?" or been told "there is no way she could remember any of that, she was too young". So here is the post to answer that question and to let everyone know that yes she does remember!

Saturday Marcus, Bre, and I were sitting in Hardee's having lunch. Bre was in a good mood and was happily eating her crispy curls while watching the automatic car wash across the street. She was also telling us each time that the stop light down the road changed colors that "red means stop", "green means go".
In an instance her mood changed. The look on her face became sad. She then told me "I not go back to China. I stay here with mommy. I stay in Bre's house."
I was left speechless. I will admit for a few seconds all I done was sat and looked at her. Finally I managed to say "of course you are staying with mommy". She continued to look so very sad and concerned so I placed her on my lap and hugged and kissed her repeatedly while reassuring her that she was home, we loved her, and that she was not going anywhere.
This left Marcus stunned. He has heard her say stuff similar before but nothing has ever came on this quick and with such emotion before. He kept asking me if I thought she was having some kind of flashback (didn't know he even knew what a flashback was). You know maybe he hit the nail on the head. Maybe it was a flashback of her life in China before she met us.
We do speak of China to her, though NEVER in a negative way. Even with the recent earthquake I have made sure that she didn't hear us speaking of it. I want her to know where she came from and who she is but I also want her to have nothing but admiration for her country of birth. When she is older we have ever intention of tackling the tricky subject of her first family but for now we keep it light and age appropriate.
This leaves me with no other option but to believe that she remembers way more than most give her credit for. I realize she was a baby when she left China and maybe she shouldn't remember but I know I can remember many early childhood details, very early actually. So who is to say that she can't?
So for all those who ask "does she remember?" My answer is a definite YES. To those who say she is too young I beg to differ.

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