Sick of Sick

I usually try to keep this blog a happy place cause when we look back on it years from now that is what I want to see and read-happy things. The truth is right now is not a happy time for us though. Marcus is truly sick and no one can figure out why.
He spends his days in agony. He can no longer get up off of the couch by himself. He can not be on his feet long enough to take a shower. He hasn't been able to dress himself for quite some time now. We are teaching him through home schooling cause the pain is to great for him to make it through even a day of regular school.
For pain we have tried Tylenol with codiene, Vicodin, Tramadol, and Oxycodone as well as IV Morphine. The only thing that has helped was the IV but he can't stay hooked up to it indefinitely in a hospital. They can't do an IV with it at home cause of the risks it carries, believe me I have asked.
Yesterday Joey and I finally caved and gave in for him to be put on Oxycotin. This has been a huge struggle for me cause I know how strong of a drug it is. I had a family member die from an overdose of it so I know firsthand that it is nothing to play around with. But what do you do when your child is in constant pain? Sit back and watch?
Sit back and watch....really that is all you can do.
We have taken him to the two best children's hospital within 200 miles. He has seen his pediatrician so many times that when I call now the nurse automatically puts the doctor on the line. We have tried different anti-inflammatories which ended up making his stomach bleed. I listed all the pain meds we have tried and of course those were along with regular Tylenol and maxed out Ibuprofen. So where are we to turn? What do we do?
Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than sitting watching your sick child cry out in pain and there isn't a dang thing you can do to make it better let alone make it stop. I have never felt so helpless before in my life. I have to leave the room on a daily basis so I can go cry in private. I then pull myself back together and walk back to be with him like nothing is wrong.
If this is Lupus it is one crapy disease! It has stripped an active, full of life, a star of his baseball team, popular 10 year old boy of his life as he knew it. He can't even walk down the stairs to play a game of pool anymore. All he can do is lay on the couch. What kind of existence is that for a child who loves life and loves to be active?
We have one last hope. On Feb 3rd we are taking him here http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/
Cincinnati is the last place we know to go at this point. They are suppose to have a world renowned rheum clinic along with a childhood Lupus clinic.
Please anyone who reads this blog pray that they can give us a diagnosis and some hope.